The Esca Boys on Earth
by Ellis Yamanaki
Summary: The Esca boys come to Earth. Screw things up and make a hilarious mess! Nyaan!
1. The Accident AKA Hitomi's Idiocy

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The Esca boys On Earth

Part one

The Accident (aka Hitomi's idiocy)

"Hitomiiii!" Nadeshiko whined as the two strolled out of the girls locker room. "Why are you making me do this again?" They made their way to the schools track where Hitomi's best friend Yukari promptly scolded them for being late.

"Because Nadeshiko, you'd be a great asset to the track team! You're almost as fast as me!" Hitomi smirked, knowing the comment would ruffle the girl beside her.

"ALMOST!?"

"If you two are done bickering, try-outs began five minutes ago! Hurry up Hitomi or you'll miss your chance!" Yukari jogged beside the two as they headed to where a group of students were going over hurdles and practicing their long-jumps. "You must be the sister I've heard so much about. You're names Nadeshiko right?" The girl nodded, her long ponytail bobbing up and down with her head.

"Yeah, I'm staying with Hitomi and mother for two years then I'm going back to Nagasaki to stay with father and my new step-mother." She picked up her pace as Hitomi and Yukari had done and said, "I cant believe I'm letting you push me into this Hitomi. I've never ran track before!"

"But you'll be great Nadeshiko! hey, I'll race ya to the long-jump!"

"Huh? Where's that?" But Hitomi had already sprinted off. "Cheater!" Nadeshiko yelled to her sister and ran after her. Hitomi's younger sister quickly caught up and passed the girl before Hitomi even knew what was happening. "Haha, catch me if you can! Of course, you cant...but you can try!"

"Wait'll I get my hands on you Nadeshiko!" Hitomi laughed and ducked right to cut her sister off.

"Hey Hitomi!" The mousy-haired girl stopped dead and did a face-vault onto the sand of the long-jump pit.

"Senpai!" She gushed, blushing. *Insert the sound of Nadeshiko falling over and hitting the pole vault which begins to topple...*

Hitomi: YAHHHHH!

Yukari: OH NO!

Senpai: OH S***!

Everyone else: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

Nadeshiko: Oops...


	2. The Arrival AKA Allen's Numb Butt

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The Esca Boys on Earth

Part Two

The Arrival (aka Allens Numb Butt)

"OwWwWwWwWwW!" Nadeshiko yelled as the doctor poked at her swollen and twisted leg. "Stop poking at it will you!?"

"Yep, its broken." The doctor declared.

"Well give the man with the syringe a big cigar." She grouched, then did a double-take. "SYRINGE!!!???" 

"You wouldn't need it if you hadn't knocked over the pole-vault! It almost killed Senpai!" Nadeshiko scrambled uselessly to get away from the doctor and his needle.

"Yeah, but thanks to that stellar dive I did he wasn't hurt, I WAS! Which makes me ask the question: What the HELL was I thinking!?" She saw a grin on the doctors lips...Nadeshiko was about to scream at the top of her lungs wheeeeeen...

"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

"%#%@&%@&%$@$*#%(%%&*^_(^)*&%*^$%$^%#$%@#*^"

"OWWWWWWWWW!" Three boys dressed in very odd clothes were hurled through the ceiling of the hospital and landed on top of the doctor that was two seconds from sticking the needle into Nadeshiko's leg. The one with the blonde hair instantly stood up and yelled

"MY BUTT! I CANT FEEL MY BUTT!" Sure enough, the syringe was sticking out of his back end and it was empty. This sent everyone in the room into hysterical laughter until the one with white hair who was wearing a tiara started lighting matches and Hitomi ran over the one with the numb butt to glomp the one with black hair and everyone stopped dead when Nadeshiko started screaming at the top of her lungs because the doctor had stuck a backup needle into her leg when she wasn't looking.

"Now then if everyone will just stay quiet and be supportive I'll re-set the bone. Gather round. You may need to know how to do this one day." The doctor said with an all-too cheery smile.

"WHAT AM I? AN EXHIBIT!? WHO THE F*** ARE YOU ALL AND WHY ARE YOU--YAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

"And that is how you set a leg bone! Any questions? Four eager hands went up. "Hmmm, how about you with the black hair?"

"Can I try?"

"WHAT THE!? NO YOU CAN'T TRY YOU LITTLE...!" Nadeshiko screamed.

"VAN-CHAN!!!" Hitomi cried and glomped the boy again. *Insert humungo Nadeshiko and Dilandau sweatdrops*

"MY BUTT, MY BEAUTIFUL BEHIND! WHAT SHALL I DO NOW? WAAAAAAAA!!!"

"VANNNNNNNN!"

"MOOOEEERRROOOO!"

"Um...why does the doctor have matches in the first place?"


	3. The Problem AKA It's Folkiekun's Mistake...

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The Esca Boys on Earth

Part Three

The problem (aka It's Folkie-kun's Mistake!)

"How did you three get here!?" Hitomi questioned the boys who all wore identical SD faces of shame.

"And more importantly, WHEN'S ALLEN GONNA GET HIS NUMB BUTT OUT OF THE BATHROOM!?" Nadeshiko yelled in the general direction of the bathroom. Sobbing from behind the door was her answer. "Blonde baka...who is stupid enough to fall onto a _needle_?"

"Folken's fate thingamabob short circuited and we were sent here." Dilandau answered watching intently as Nadeshiko tried idea after idea to open or burn or break down the bathroom door. At the moment she had a chainsaw hefted over her shoulder as she walked back into the room.

"This may be a bit loud." She warned and started up the chainsaw.

"SO YOU'RE ALL STUCK HERE NOW?"

"HUH?"

"I SAID..." Nadeshiko turned off the chainsaw abruptly. "SO YOU'RE ALL STUCK HERE NOW!?"

"OwWwWwWwWwWw!" Was the general response.

"Sorry!" Hitomi apologized.

"GET OUT OF MY F***ing BATHROOM!!!" Nadeshiko yelled and kicked the door off its hinges. She then dragged a weeping Allen out of the bathroom and ran back before he could get up. "HAHAHAHAHA, well, I did it, and I'm proud of myself!" She pulled a drill out of hammerspace, screwed the door back into place and promptly locked herself inside.

"Well?" Hitomi asked.

"Well what?" Van answered.

"Didn't you listen to a word I just said?"

"No."

"BUT VAAAAANNNNNN!"

"Uhhhhhhh..." -_-^

"Heeheeheeheeheeheeheehee!" Dilandau giggled insanely as he lit more matches.

"Oh no you don't! That's how the hospital got burnt down!" Hitomi grabbed the matchbox away from the albino pyromaniac and deposited them in the garbage.

"THOSE WERE **MINE**!!!" The boy yelled.

**SLAP!**

"OWWWWW!"

"HEY! Don't hit my woman!" Van cried and picked up a chair.

"Hey, she took MY MATCHES!" Dilandau pulled out his sword.

"I CAN FEEL MY BUTT AGAIN!"


	4. The Lesson AKA Don't Anger Dilly!

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The Esca Boys on Earth

Part Four

The Lesson (aka Don't anger Dilly!)

"So what did we learn today boys?" Hitomi lectured as once again, the Gaean boys sat on the couch and looked at their feet. Only, this time Van had a nasty cut on his cheek and half his hair was burned off, Dilandau's head was bandaged and Allen had locked himself in the bathroom again.

"Oh c'mon Hitomi! The LAST thing they need is another lecture on etiquette and behavior. I think they've learned their lessons. What I think..."

"_What I think, what I think..._Nadeshiko, I think I know these three better than you do!" Dilandau raised his hand. "WHAT!?"

"You hardly know me at all." Nadeshiko smirked. 

"What we need to worry about now, Hitomi, is what these three clowns are going to wear! They can't very well go out in public dressed like this, and the kid bros too small..." Nadeshiko pointed out, pulling her hair back into a braid.

"Looks like were going shopping..."

"YAY!!! I LOVE TO SHOP!" Allen burst out of the bathroom and glomped Hitomi who looked deathly scared. Nadeshiko tried her hardest not to break out laughing but couldn't help it.

"It seems, you don't know Allen very well either now, do you?" Hitomi kicked her sisters cast. "OWwWwwwwWww! Illegal move Kanzaki! Penalty points! Penalty points!"

"You're such a spaz Nadeshiko, will you ever give up kickboxing?"

"Maybe, when you stop gushing over every boy you see..."

"I do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!"

"Do not!"

"Do not!"

"Do so!" Nadeshiko burst out laughing.

"Gotcha Hitomi! You'll never be as quick as me!" Hitomi lunged for Nadeshiko's throat and Nadeshiko ducked and picked up the chair that Van had bashed over Dilandau's head. Hitomi pulled a giant mallet out of hammerspace and the two chased each other around the house until Dilandau pulled a flamethrower on both of them...

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BOOM!


	5. Deja' Vu AKA Dilly's er Problem

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The Esca Boys on Earth

Part Five

The Deja Vu (aka Dilly's er...problem...)

"Now what have we learned girls?" Van sneered as three VERY battered girls sat on the couch and stared at their feet. All three were sporting head to toe mummy bandages and all three had evil, if-you-say-one-more-word-Ill-kill-you looks.

"I cant believe you're a _girl_ Dilly-pickles. Now I'm gonna need to find someone else to gush over!" Nadeshiko pointed out. Her comment was met with a deathglare and a large mallet being brought down on her head. "OWwWwWwWwWw! Dilly-pickles! That was _mean!_"

"My name is Celena! And I don't give a flying f*** about being mean!"

"OoOoOoOoOo! Dilly-pickles said a naughty word!" Nadeshiko grinned like an idiot beneath her layers of bandage. "TIME FOR SOAP!" Hitomi snickered and snorted on the other end of the couch.

"You're REALLY in for it Celena!"

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KICK

"OWwWwWwWwWw!"

"Bad, bad potty mouth needs a cleaning!" Nadeshiko dragged the kicking and squirming Celena across the living room and into the bathroom.

**"NOOOOOOOOOO!!!"**

Dilandau burst out of the bathroom screaming. His mouth was foaming from the soap bar wedged in there.

"YIKES! Dilandau has _rabies!_ Are you ok Nadeshiko?" Hitomi asked, dodging the insane Dilandau who was now racing around the kitchen, knocking over various pots and pans and making an all around raucous.

"YEP! I got my rabies vaccination!" She pulled out a rabies tag that was hanging off her necklace. "SEE?"

"Goodies! Now, lets subdue him!" Van pulled a syringe loaded with Novocain out of the back pocket of his pants.

"YAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!! NEEDLEEEEE!!!" Nadeshiko yelled and hid behind a reclining chair.

"Uhhh, Van? Where'd you get that?" Hitomi questioned. Van sped off after the rabid Dilandau and in his hurry tripped over an ottoman. The syringe flew up into the air...and came down...

"YOWCH! NO! NOT AGAIN! MY BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL BUTT!" Allen had been searching for a coin under the sofa and the syringe had imbedded itself in his rear end once again... 


	6. The Friends AKA Those Poor Dragon Slayer...

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The Esca Boys on Earth

Part Six

The Friends (AKA- those poor Dragon Slayers!)

A/N-Very short chapter...note that I did write this about...a year ago though...*needs to read through it* I'll get cracking on it very soon though!

"MY SYRINGE!" Van cried as he looked helplessly at the empty syringe sticking out of Allen's butt. "It was the only one I had..." Nadeshiko peered out from behind the sofa.

"Is it gone!?" She questioned. "Is it? Is it? isitisitisit?" Hitomi hit her on the head with a mallet. "OwWw...no fair!"

"What are we gonna' do about Dilandau? He's nuts!" 

"We could knock 'im out..."

"We could wash his mouth out with soap again...maybe he'll turn back to a gurl then..."

"We _could_ take him to magical pond that'll turn him into a girl when he gets splashed with hot water and a boy when splashed with cold water..." everyone groaned and gave Van disturbed looks. "It was just a suggestion.

"Keep those cheesy suggestions to yourself Van." Nadeshiko muttered.

"DON'T MAKE FUN OF HIM!!!" Hitomi yelled, kicking Nadeshiko's cast.

"YOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!" Nadeshiko stole Dilandau's flamethrower and aimed it at Hitomi. Dilandau ran around in circles, knocking things over, foaming at the mouth, and ,making weird noises.

_Suddenly _three more boys dressed in weird clothes and a cat-girl crashed through the ceiling and fell on top of Allen and Van.

"YAAAAAHHHHHH!!! MEEEEEEEERRRRRRRROOOOOOOWWWWWWWW!!!!" Dilandau stopped running around in circles and suddenly ran at the three boys, eyes shining, mouth foaming...he was so happy to see them...

"YAHHH! Master Dilandau's got RABIES!!!" Shesta cried.

"Didn't we get vaccinated for that?" Viole thought out loud.

"...Erm...I don't think we did Viole..." Dallet answered, looking extreemly alarmed.

"YIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!" They all yelled and ran in the opposite direction.

"Mmmmfffffffff! Mmmgph! Mffgah ffffffff!!!!" Dilandau called after them.

"VAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Squeeled the cat-girl, Merle, latching onto the black-haired boy with a deathgrip. His face slowly turned from healthy peach to blue...

"My butt...*sniff* my wonderful, beautiful, tight butt..." Allen sobbed, hugging a scared-looking Hitomi.


End file.
